His Mom

"All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up. "
Pablo Picasso     

I have had the pleasure of being called "His Mom" for seven years (including pregnancy).  If you have little ones who aren't speaking yet you can imagine when your child has their friends over and they say "Umm, So&so's Mom, will you help me with my shoes?" The amazing thing is you become surprised when you actually hear your name called at a kid event. 

It's rare that we give children the same admired attention we give well known authors, actors or musicians. But why not? Who's to say those little hands won't do good works for our world and why not treat them in that matter. I decided a long time ago that too soon in life children get told they are not good enough. I wanted to offer a home where they knew they were valuable to us. They were unique and important. But let me be clear we do not lie to our children to benefit them. We try not to lie to our children even white lies. Therefore our son knew at the age of four that Santa was not real and not to tell his friends, that he wouldn't get in half as much trouble for what he did if he was honest about it and how babies do not come out of a mommy's belly unless she needed a c-section.

We encourage him to ask us EVERYTHING but at home or in private. These are what we call "Family Rules." We have explained that every family has them whether they call them that or not. Recently we were at his school and around several families when he stood up and began to announce "Look Mom, we will all go back to this when we die. This is what we are when we die." As he swished dirt between his hands. We also had a conversation about how educating his sisters on tsunamis was not appropriate beach talk (especially because most of Hawaii tourists are Japanese). Were these conversations hard? Are you kidding! Richard and I came from families where we had a one time, "Hope you get all this but make sure not to ask questions" sex talk. Where Santa was used to decorate more than Jesus for Christmas. It was absolutely worth it to see him understand and us be amazed and a bit blushed at times that he could understand.

Children get it, maybe not all of it the first time or even the tenth but they do add to their mental capacity each time you invest in teaching them. I had one of our epic routine doctors appointments where I had to entertain three kids for about an hour WHILE SITTING QUIETLY. The snacks were out, everyone got a sleeve of tattoos (with ink pens of course) then the girls fell asleep. Earlier that day I wondered how many hours I had spent with my son. Well I did the math and out of 26,??? something over the course of six and a half years he has been with me for 23,4??.? That's right he has had less than 4,000 awake hours away from me. I came home showed Richard my scratch paper and his comment was "And that's just with him."

  This child's confidence is something you can't shake, not even us. He is strong willed, deep in emotions, full of energy, constantly creating, burning with exploring eyes and a bold voice. Yet if he doesn't feel like talking he simply won't. He's either a 1 or a 10 and what you'd call a doer. We will never have to worry about him finding something to do, just keeping his attention can be a problem. I spend time with him and I learn from him. We have to tell him to go to bed after hours of drawing in costume or in the nude. Yes it's one or the other. We are so thankful for our son to be our son and I am thankful for him to grow to be a man who will do such good in this world.

Just another evening

 We spend most of our afternoons outside until sunset. And this is how it normally goes down... Richard does yard work, the girls bike ride or pick flowers and The Boy explores and climbs his "climbing tree". Oh, and I observe. For all you pregnant friends of mine, here's a glimpse of your future. Just to give you a heads up the mood subtly changes just after Little's laughter shot. Enjoy!

                                

A Wonderful Woman

Here is a woman seen above named Deena. She is one of the easiest people to talk to, shop with, engage in conversation with, laugh with and love. She is one of those people you always want to hold close because of how much beauty concentrates around her. When you are around her you are bound to get some of her radiance to rub off. We have been friends for three years and sharing our lives and raising our kids together. Yet I feel like I known her for much longer. 

The week before we left Atlanta she took me out on a girls evening for dinner and dessert. It was  delicious and at the end of the night she surprised me with this beautiful necklace(she has great taste, that's why we love to shop together). This was sentimental but also humorous because she text' me several weeks prior in the middle of the night. She was asking me all sorts of personal questions like each of the kids birthdays and our anniversary. I joked that she better not be getting a drunken tattoo of me. It ended up having a main endless circle with the kids names on it as well as 3 unique charms with different dates and initials. It was so special and I wear it weekly. I'm going to put the link up soon of her friends company who made them for me. Always love supporting another women's owned business and I'm glad it ended up not being the tattoo! 

All things good and inspiring

I started off my week having a wonderfully entertaining Clothing Swap. I was able to meet a number of new gals and got to see them all in the skivvies. Needless to say Hawaiian women have no problem being almost naked on the beach so why not at a clothing swap. Even at the end of the night April and I swapped slippers by accident. (Hawaiian word for sandals) I was able to swap for three great new swim cover ups, I only had my one from San Fran that R got me when we were dating.

                 Tuesday morning with Corrine ( pictured with all the babes) Taylor and Nakelli

I also have been looking at photography ideas for our upcoming family portraits with the lovely Corrine Gold at whatadayphotography . She was the one I wrote about taking all of our amazing pictures with my mom and sister over the summer.

I read a lot of blogs this week. I see why people only blog for the reading aspect of it. This is exactly why I started blogging, being inspired by others. It is truly so important to me to realize that I circulate through my life patterns. For example, mental and physical cleanses, going through a love for leggings again and again. Why not be more present about our own natures and choose what we circulate, preferably the healthy patterns.

Blogs that I have been following this week have been:

ourheartsourlove Why read? Why the joys and sorrows of being a stay at home mom does not mean you can't have your own identity.

babybukes Why read? This adorably real woman supporting her hubby on his trip to Kenya all while documenting their daughters special moments. Basically precious all the time.

frenchatmosphere Why read? One of the most inspirational decorating sites I have ever come across. I am including magazine sites, simply amazing.

soappixie Why read? I have been looking into honey bee keeping since moving onto our new property. She is a wife and mother to three all while owning her own soap making company and is a bee keeper. REALLY cool!

  I thought this would be something just to throw out there because I don't have all the facts. If you remember me discussing my eye problems at night, where my lid muscles twitch and cut my corneas. Well we found out this week that women who have had an iud as birth control (which I have) are very likely to suffer from severe dry eye and have eye muscle issues. If my symptoms had not started only one month AFTER I had the iud put in I would not take this so seriously. My eyes have been so sensitive since getting my iud, I have weekly abrasions to where I cannot use my eye for at least a day. Needless to say I have an appointment this week to the removal. Oh birth control, we are't on good terms again!

My mental cleansing

 We simplified a good bit of furniture before the move. It was quit a surprised to move into a house with only:

* 1 single linen closet

* 1 regular two door closet (in the girls room)

* 3 shelves next to my washer and dryer for storage ( tools, sports equipment)

* 1 bed frame that stores 6 baskets

* no garage

* no attic

* no basement


So even with all my self righteous "down sizing do gooder talk" my storage bins still laughed at me saying  "Well, I bet you didn't see that coming!"  I most certainly did not, so we downsized again. This week has been the third downsize. It was my closet, which I share one door side with the girls so it can get tight with all us ladies finding something to wear. It looks much better so yesterday I sat and thought "On to the next task!" Unfortunately now I had something a little more in depth than organizing tank tops. It was cleaning up my thoughts. My focus has been all over lately from Ava's new school, to doctors appointments, behavior, new local foods, and hanging out with other women. I have been socially overstimulated with meeting a TON of new people, and you know me, I love people. But it has been a bit overwhelming. Trying to remember names, their children's name, then my last conversation I had with them.

I also have been noticing me being a bit lazy in my consideration, my casualness to just saying things before confirming my thoughts. I knew today when I out load said I knew something wasn't true but continued to have a conversation about it anyway. I had this huge weight put on me when I got in the car and I could hear " What was that? You don't even support that kind of talk, why are you allowing this to creep in?" Thankfully this new friend of mine is quite patient and was very casual with my topic.

But I was faced with clearing this blasé, non connective conversations out of my thoughts and off my tongue. It's never good to talk just to talk. Without meaning you are wasting your efforts. I am starting a cleanse. Here is my new but old daily remedy I am restarting:

* Wake up and stretch even if it's for 2 minutes

* Pray

* Give each person in my family a word of encouragement as I greet them

* Acknowledge that my day can be as beautiful as I choose it to be and pray it will

* Read, no one is ever growing when they aren't learning

* Meditiate

* Tell someone something great about them

* Pray

We're dreamers with grounded feet-metaphorically speaking

 "I dream because we're made to, I do dream because." 

I come from a long line family of entrepreneurs and go getters. I love that that they chose the road less traveled because they ultimately got the bigger reward. My great grandfather was the started of one of the fastest growing construction businesses in Iowa in the 40's and 50's. His wife Ava, opened the first women owned boutique in there town and the had one of the first televisions in their home. That got them are larger number of house guests than they planned. Both my grandmothers were activists-one for democratic politics and civil rights and one for love, peace and Jesus.

My parents, one who did not finish college and one who never bothered with it, started a company wise beyond there years. One of the first in the background checking industry came one hugely successful business after the other. My mom who was the president on many boards in the community always showed me women can go just as far as a man can. Richard now jokes about how I was raised by a feminist. (He wasn't too far off) Now both are successful investors and could be retired before fifty they continue to grow their ideas and multiple businesses. They have planted seeds in my sister and I not to settle for mediocracy. We grew up being given endless education opportunities, extra curricular activities and outlets to find our niches in life. I married a man who became his own boss and owned a business at twenty three and continues to impress me with his alternative work approach.

photography by whatadayphotography

 What can I say we are dreamers, visionaries, lovers of the unknown. We have moved over seas with a dream of a newer, brighter life for ourselves and our children. But not without thinking twice or even three or four times for that matter. I still haven't figured out where I got my grounding from but through my eyes things are very black and white. They either work or they don't, they either help or they don't. So though I dream I dream with my eyes wide open. And truly asking my motives in working towards those dreams. And for all your assurances, this dream of ours to live better and happier is coming true. Keep dreaming and dream big!


"I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal." Martin Luther King Jr.


"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. " Albert Einstein

"Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world." Harriet Tubman

Accepting Acceptance

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. -- Plato

We live our lives checking off who we are to others. Are you a new patient--check. Have you enjoyed your experience--check. Caucasian--check. 

I can always appreciate when someone tells me they enjoy my company. Not necessarily through words, but through simple acknowledgments that I am accepted. No matter what place in life we are, we all are looking for solid relationships. It is so crucial to our everyday life because everyday life seems to knock us down quite a bit. I have recently been putting more of my focus on acceptance. I used to have this box of understanding. I also have another box of, "I'll figure that our later." But recently those two boxes overlapped!

Before I speak in specifics I will clear up and confirm my experiences and views of God. I've experienced the comfort in being a child of the unconditional Father and maker of our heavens and our earth. I've experienced God in a personal and loving way. He has offered me a choice to have eternal life through belief in his son Jesus Christ, who lived, died, and resurrected providing a way for his children to be with him for eternity. Because of the acceptance I have had from God, I feel compelled to give others that same love. God does not expect me or anyone to be perfect. In fact he knows we won't achieve perfection. 

God has designed us with all different skin tones, voices, body types and genders. Yet we still have two things in common--our desire for love and our inability to achieve perfection. Which takes me back to the topic of my boxes. I understood that as a follower of God, it is frowned upon to be a person who is gay or lesbian. I also understood that all people are created equal and in the image of God. I understood that everyone has equal rights to worship God in our country. I too understood that no sin is bigger than the other in God’s eyes. In my box of "I'll figure that out later" was the idea of a person who had my same "box of understanding", agreed with everything within that box, but also happened to be gay. Then recently these two boxes overlapped and I was silent with my thoughts--realizing what this meant to me. 

I now had a choice to eliminate one item out of my "I'll figure that out later box" and could move it to my "box of understanding". But how? I know that no one deserves to suffer and feel rejected by people when they have already been forgiven and accepted by their Savior. If sinful actions are actions themselves, but being gay for most men and women is not something they choose, then is it in a box of sinful actions? Or knowing you are pretending to be a heterosexual person when you know you are not more of a sinful act? Can you be a believer in Christ as well as accepting yourself as a person who is gay?

I was given this link and if you are interested to learn more like I did, please take a look at this website from two sides of believers in God and their openminded and accepting views of the gay and lesbian community. www.gaychristian.net

I will close with two statements from this message that really stood out to me:

"Parties on both sides must be ready to say we can be wrong."

                                    and

"Each has to say there is something to be learned here."


Here are some facts that Americans have today about their views of gay rights. Gallup released its annual findings on sexuality that tell how we have changed. As of a couple weeks ago, more than 50 percent of Americans now accept gay relationships. What's more, 78 percent of Americans now believe gay Americans should be allowed to serve in the military, while 48 percent believe gay Americans should have the right to marry. Read more at: www.oprah.com